The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
