Do you still have your period?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
