life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he fucked my hip out of place.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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