Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
