Soap is not a condiment
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
