the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
