Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
