Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
