Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
