Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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