College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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