He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
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Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
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I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
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