I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
