Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
