She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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