well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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