Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
