Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
only if we run a train.
done.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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