as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
