have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
