In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
