The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
