You really coming over, don't trick.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
