Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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