at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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