Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
