your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
