I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
