By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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