glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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