now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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