Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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