im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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