ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
