I'm jealous of your bromance
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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