So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
