Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
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it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
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The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
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