i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize