That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I wannas sexs uuuuu
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
