Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
