Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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