Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
We need to rekindle our bromance
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
