shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
two words...techno handjob
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
