Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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