Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
