I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
false alarm, still single
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
