I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
