Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
