Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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