Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
dude i'm inner monologue high
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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