Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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