My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Randomize
