you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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