before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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