Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
