if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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