I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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