Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
