That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize