I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
