the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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