So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
