your room smells of hookers.
And success
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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