I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
